Children are the future of the human race, and they are learning everyday how to become that future by watching their parents navigate through the world. Children will often imitate what they see and experience. As evidenced by, they learn how to talk by hearing and watching their parents do it. They learn how to dress, to take care of their personal hygiene, behave, and even feel by imitating the people around them. This can be a joy of parenting. However, it may also be somewhat discouraging when one considers the anti social behavior and generational incarceration.
Most of us would like to think that childhood is a time of true innocence, a time when a young person is free to feel out and explore the world around them in utter joy and amazement. This might not be the case for children with incarcerated parents. Many are visiting their parents behind bars, some for the first time for others it is a normal occurrence. Even if the child does not fully understand what imprisonment means, visiting a parent behind bars can send a confusing message to a child who naturally love and want to please their parents. In fact most parents are the most important person in a child’s life and children naturally want to be like their parent. For a little, girl, dad is the first man she falls in love with. Conversely she often falls in love with a male who share her daddy’s traits because dad sets the standard for the next male in her life. Boys on the other hand often want to be like their dad.
During play children re-enact action/behaviors that have occurred around them. Watching children provide amazing insight into the human behaviors and feelings children have but are unable to articulate.
While attending a Drug Completion Ceremony in a maximum security prison, I saw a scene that was sheared into my memory and it troubled me. I watched as family members of the offenders completing the drug program filed into the prison visiting room and took their seats beside their incarcerated loved ones. One scene on the front row caught my attention. I saw an intimate exchange between a father and his pre-school aged son. The boy removed his father’s prison ID card from his dad’s lapel and placed the prison ID Card on his lapel. The boy looked up at his father smiled and laid his head on his dad’s chest. His dad beamed with a sense of pride, tussled his hair and gave his son a tighter hug.
I cringed inside! The child’s behavior spoke volumes, I want to be just like you dad! It is a well established fact that childhood imprinting is the result of environmental conditioning in which children learn from adult behaviors and lessons taught to them. Children also tend to adopt values and ideals of their parents.
I shared my observation and conclusion with some of my incarcerated substance- involved clients the following day. There were twenty male offenders in the group; the majority disagreed with my analysis and prediction. Children who demonstrate a desire to emulate their incarcerated parent behavior will be the next generation to fill the prisons.
However, there was one young man who heard and was moved by my prophetic words. He became determined to break the cycle of incarceration. He began by writing the following words to his children in a poem.
Like Me
I pray to God my son don’t be like me
But they say the apple don’t’ fall to far from the tree
So what that means,
H e is going to have fantasies of picking up guns
And using them killing his own kind,
Distributing drugs selling nickels and dimes
In an out of jail until one day doing hard times
No not mines
Generation carries on
We can start or break them
but nine times out of ten it comes from our fathers
which comes from their fathers and continues on
It seems like a curse that comes from the father above
where most generations turn out to be nothing but thugs
Where does it end?
is it too much sin?
The worship of the materialistic,
the chains and cars
Having sex with many women
Calling them bitches and broads
This can be why the apple fall not far from the tree
The pleasures of the flesh and the evil we see
I pray to God, my son ain’t like me
I pray my daughter doesn’t hook up
With someone like me
“CJ, # 314218”
The odds are not in his children’s favor. In the words of Cats Stevens, “it occurred to me, he’d grown up just like me, and my boy was just like me.”
It’s important to remember that parents are the most important persons in a child’s life. Parents are for the most part everything to their children. Most children want to be like mommy and daddy. Parents should make sure that the behavior they exhibit is the behavior they want to see in their children. Because children will often unconditionally or without question accept the beliefs of their parent, parent’s behaviors always speak louder than words.
If you are curious or serious about learning more about this growing epidemic then contact us at info@reachcounseling.org. We are also holding our 4th Annual Post Incarceration: Chronicles of Success Conference in East Hartford, Ct. Check out this link and become a part of the solution http://reachtraining.eventbrite.com/
Imagine what your life would be like with a parent in jail. Do you think you it would have a dramatic effect on how you lived your life? This is just one of the questions that we must ask ourselves when we examine the long-term and immediate impact on children with incarcerated parents.
Only recently has the federal and local governments began to take notice of this previously invisible section of our population in America. There are millions children in this country that have gone through their formative years without their parent. These children experience a great deal of shame, social discomfort and institutional stigmatization that many find hard to overcome. For so long, we have overlooked these inherent issues that incarceration causes within the families that it rips apart. Research has shown that children in with parents in jail tend to have a harder time at school when compared to your typical single parent home. These children not only exhibit more behavior issues but struggle with performance as well.
Now, with the help of research from The Annie Casey Foundation and other organization like Reach Training, we are shining the light on these issues and equipping professionals with the tools and information to help mitigate these issues from derailing the lives of our children.
Reality is that our prison population is still growing at an alarming rate, which means the number of children growing up with an incarcerated parents is growing at a similar pace. I don’t think we can change the choices that people make, but we can help those children and family members that are left behind.
If you are curious or serious about learning more about this growing epidemic then contact us at info@reachcounseling.org. We are also holding our 4th Annual Post Incarceration: Chronicles of Success Conference in East Hartford, Ct. Check out this link and become a part of the solution http://reachtraining.eventbrite.com/
Would you believe that more than one American out of 100 is either in jail or prison right now? Yes, we all have heard about over crowding and over populated prisons and jails in America, but for most the thought stops there. Over the next few days I will open your eyes to the issue behind the staggering numbers that continue to grow at an alarming rate.
For today though, lets just focus on some facts about the number of children and families impacted by incarceration. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) slightly more than 1.7 million children under age 18 had a parent in state or federal prison, representing 2.3 percent of the total U.S. child population. The number of children with a father in prison increased from 881,500 in 1991 to more than 1.5 million in 2007, a 77 percent increase. During that time, the number of children with a mother in prison increased by 131 percent, from 63,900 to 147,400.
Let’s reflect on these numbers from 2007 and think about these children and families. The reality is that no matter what your views are on the role of incarceration in your community, the nature of incarceration is destructive to the family unit and can leave invisible scars of depression, negative self images and even worse, the next generation of criminals doomed to follow the path of their parents, without appropriate guidance and strategies for mitigating the effects of the separation.
On October 27 th 2011, Jacqueline Caron of the State of Connecticut Pardon Board will deliver the key-note message at the 4th annual Post Incarceration: Chronicles of Success Conference. This year’s event is promising to be the most exciting ever. It will be hosted by the East Hartford Cultural Center from 8:30 am to 4:30pm. Participants will get to pose tough questions to the community education panel that will consist of formerly incarcerated individuals, family members and practitioners who helped children and families over the obstacles and break the cycle of recidivism. This year’s agenda will also include a dramatic re-enactment sure to pull on your heart-strings. If you or anyone you know has been impacted by an incarcerated loved one, you owe it to the child, the family and your community to share this message and join the mission to equip our communities for success. We hope to see you there!
Reserve your spot today .http://reachtraining.eventbrite.com/
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Empowering People to Acheive More!
Its that time again! The 4th Annual Post Incarceration: Chronicles of Success conference is here again. This years theme will be focused on Helping Children with Incarcerated Parents.
Post Incarceration: Chronicles of Success Conference IV
REACH TRAINING PRESENTS:
Post Incarceration:
Chronicles of Success Conference IV
“Helping Children with Incarcerated Parents”
Post Incarceration Chronicles of Success IV Conference
This day-long professional Re-Entry Conference is presented annually by REACH Training and hosted this year by East Hartford Youth Services. We are committed and devoted to responding to the needs of youth and families in the community. This year’s conference will focus on “PARTICULARIZED needs of children with incarcerated parents.”
In addition, Ms. Jacqueline Caron, Connecticut Pardon Team Chairwoman will deliver the keynote address, The day will also include Dramatic Spoken Word, Community Educational Panel consisting of family members and formerly incarcerated persons and afternoon workshops led by professionals in the field.
East Hartford Cultural Center
80 Chapman Place
East Hartford, CT 06108-2174
For additional information:
(860) 463 9755 or info@reachcounseling.org
childrenwithincarceratedparents 